Should you date someone you’re not fully attracted to?

The notion of chemistry is dangerous when we start to excuse bad behavior because of it. Chemistry feels good because it truly mixes well together. Make sure you know the difference. Physical chemistry is important. Physical chemistry is huge when it comes to predicting the longevity of a relationship. A strong physical bond drives a relationship with a sense of purpose and passion in a way that nothing else can.

Physical chemistry is different than physical attraction.

Should you date someone you’re not fully attracted to?

There are cases when someone becomes or at least appears more attractive to the other person on account of compatibility. Compatibility helps people feel not only understood but also to be seen as who they really are and be accepted as such, which is very appealing. If you laugh a lot together, have common interests, and genuinely feel at ease with your date, then you might want to stick around and see how your relationship develops. We feel so much pressure to impress that we might come across as awkward, uncomfortable, aggressive, or all of the above.

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Be realistic with your expectations. Well, that and the goosebumps.

What’s preventing you from finding love?

Elevate your love life with practical dating advice delivered right to your inbox. Does time pass easily, too quickly almost? Look for someone with whom you have a great rapport. How long have you known this person? Let the person show more facets of themselves before dismissing them outright. Do they have things you deeply value? Part of giving the relationship a little time to grow is to see if this person has things you deeply value, and vice versa of course.

What will help you grow as a person? I think of attraction like a trifecta; emotional attraction, intellectual attraction, and physical attraction. Intellectual builds the rapport, emotional keeps things stable, and physical provides the spark. Intellectual happens quickly, emotional takes time to see in full, and physical can be instant or arrive dead last.

Initial attraction is like the first chapter of a book. It means something; you need to feel interested enough to want to read on. That said, some books start slower than others. Give yourself, and the mysterious ways of attraction, a little time. Her relationship column appears on Yahoo every Monday.


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