Also, if you want to know more about out of wedlock pregnancy, click here to read an article on that specific topic. In this article I will not be addressing that part of it too much. I will just be talking about a very narrow question regarding Christian single moms and dating.
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The Bible does not talk about dating directly, but it does talk about marriage. There is nothing in the Bible that forbids a single mother from marrying, therefore we can conclude there is nothing in the Bible that forbids a single mother from dating. If a Christian girl got pregnant out of wedlock, premarital sex and the pregnancy are two different issues. A child is always a blessing from the Lord no matter what the relationship is between the father and the mother.
Having a child is never a negative and God will never punish anyone for having a child. Again, children are always blessings from the Lord. However, with a child comes certain responsibility and natural consequences that will sometimes make it more difficult for a single mom to date.
But her motherhood does not disqualify her. Her life circumstances might make dating a poor decision at times and if she puts her children at risk for the sake of dating then this is a sin. But overall, a Christian single mom should decide to date or not date just like every other Christian must decide.
Am I mature enough to date right now? Is my heart in a good place with God to date right now? Am I ready to pursue marriage and not just date for fun?
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If a Christian single mom wants to date for godly reasons, she is free to pursue marriage just like every other Christian single is. When a Christian single mom wants to date to find a godly husband, she should first spend the necessary time addressing the sins and wounds of her past so she can live a better future. Again, she should never regret or feel bad about having a child! But she will need to separate the gift of a child from the circumstances that lead to an out of wedlock pregnancy.
Christian Dating Advice for Single Moms
What happened that led to the sin of premarital sex? What unhealthy relationship practices are in her past? Everyone must ask questions like these before they start pursuing a godly spouse through Christian dating, not just a woman who had a child. While sins should be repented of, wounds should also be healed. What hurts are in her heart that occurred from bad relationships in her past? Or if she became a single mom because her husband died, obviously it would not be right to start dating until she was healed enough to be in a healthy relationship.
Overall, a Christian single mom is free to date, but like all Christians she should be wise and mature about this process and only seek to be in a relationship when she feels God is releasing her to do so and her heart is ready for it. You have to follow God personally to answer that question. There are very few Christians single moms who need to be told not to sacrifice her child for a relationship. Moms in general are one of the most loving, sacrificial people groups in the world.
What most Christian single moms probably need to hear more is that while you must never put your dating life before your child, you must also not totally neglect the desires God has placed on your heart for a relationship. From my perspective, most of the times it is not required to choose mothering or dating.
Of course during certain seasons this will be true, but at some point in life most Christian single moms will be able to do both. If for a season or because of some unique circumstances you do need to choose between mothering and dating, you must choose mothering as God will hold you responsible for the health of the child he has entrusted to you. Additionally, if you have to sacrifice your children to get a guy to like you, this man will expect you to always put him first even if you get married.
You need to prioritize your kids and be open about this prioritization when you date so you will attract a man who wants that life. A mom and a dad should not love their kids more than they love one another. However, they will need to prioritize their kids above one another, especially when the children are young. When I want to hang out with my wife after a long day but my 5 year old son and my 3 year old daughter are crying in their beds for their mom, we both know she needs to prioritize them over me. You want a man with that perspective. He should expect you to love him in a special way that spouses should love each other, but a good dad knows that the kids come first in practical, day to day ways.
Therefore you must not pretend your life will be anything other than this to attract a guy. A single mom is just as beautiful and worthy of love and her children are not baggage. They are gifts from God. But a single mom does come with more responsibility. When you are mature enough to handle it, responsibility is a blessing. If you have no responsibility in life, it means you have no impact and influence in life. The following single mom dating tips can not only help you emotionally and spiritually, but will also assist you in meeting the right soulmate for you. Many Christian single moms end up making horrible dating decisions because they exclude the Saviour from the equation.
Before even thinking about dating again, take good long look at yourself and your situation as a single mom. Then ask yourself some difficult questions:.
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As a single mom, what are you looking for in a man? Once you know what it is you are looking for as single moms, you can prepare yourself to fulfill your goals. Make a plan based on your goal to meet that special man. Study where Christian singles meet other singles , and get ready to mingle. Keep all your options open along the way, and stay optimistic.
Christian Single Moms and Dating Tips
The Lord is for you, not against you. Related Christian Dating posts: I am 42 and a teacher-asst for headstart working on my AA.
My dream is to own my own night care for working parents on second and third shift. Even though on paper my situation seems crazy, God has made my life and home one of love and laughter. I have had coucilling and was really happy just being with God. Then I met another Born again christian, who has been a great friend to me. We began to realise we have strong feeling together. He is extremely respectful and we have both obtained from impurity and share a similar view on life.
How long do we wait to be married, how do we conduct our relationship with the added complications?
Dating a single mom: the tips that will make it work | EliteSingles
Be a woman first, mom second. Likewise when dating, show your date who is aware of your kids , that they do not rule your entire universe even if they do. He wants to feel appreciated too, not second fiddle while on a date. Trust him to know your priorities. He is already willing to go out with you.