Thank God it’s Friday, the best night on the Dutch dating scene

10 tips for dating Dutch women and Dutch men

To the untrained dater it may appear rude or direct but it is a refreshing scene of playing with your cards on the table. Being successful in Dutch dating can require a level of assertiveness: Playing hard-to-get and silly games have little value in the Netherlands but confidence and being to-the-point rank high. Dutch man Michiel Huisman at a Game of Thrones premiere.

Similarly, in the Netherlands compliments are not given nor received easily, and outlandish compliments can be perceived as fake by the Dutch. Forget the sugar-coating — being down-to-earth and direct will earn a lot more points with a Dutch man or Dutch girls. Friends also usually kiss three times on the cheek in greeting; some strangers may kiss when being introduced to someone through a common friend, although a handshake is more common. Chivalry has dissipated into the form of fairness. Some say it is unromantic but Dutch relationships pride themselves on equality between Dutch women and men.

Another option is for one person to pay for, say, drinks and the other for movie tickets. Either way, be prepared that a date is not always going to be free ride, nor will free drinks in bars be that forthcoming from Dutch men. The value of equality seeps into many interactions in Dutch dating. Dutch men in general are not renowned for opening doors for Dutch women or taking their heavy bags. While Dutch women might like it when men do this, they do not expect it. Part of this has to do with the prevalent bike culture — have you tried biking in high heels and a mini skirt, through the rain?

Are Dutch women the most beautiful in the world? It leaves you some personal space and freedom Dutchies are so deeply attached to. After all, Willem did marry Maxima.. And yeah I guess Dutch guys are something special both in a neg- and positive way. While as you correctly point out in the disclaimer it is extremely difficult to draw general conclusions on this topic as too many factors play a role , there are some conclusions to be drawn.

Careful though — it is another generalization, not universally true.


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In Southern Europe, guys are accustomed to play relatively hard to get girls, and girls are accustomed to play relatively hard-to-get. In contrast, Southern girls moving to the North are often disappointed when they see that, here in Northern Europe, if they still play as hard to get as they did in the South, guys just will assume they are not interested. And, accustomed to guys showing more interest, are frustrated by what they perceive as low interest. That is one small aspect of a huge topic. And one last point, beware: Amsterdam is very different from the rest of the Netherlands: The difference is also that in the Southern System the Southern girls are supposed to take care for their looks, that raises the competition level and in this system they welcome attention by men, they appreciate being noticed and complimented about their looks.

While and the same time men can be address still as an object like in commercials. Probably a more extroverted lady, no doubt. I only speak for myself even though I think a lot of guys from Amsterdam are characterized by this and recognize a lot of things which are written in this article, especially about seeing each other next and gifts.

Seeing that most dutch men big cities are very social and ambitious, i understand the need of keeping a tight schedule. The emancipation and equality movement has gotten somewhat out of hand here, the result is dutch pay and loss of the traditional man-woman roles in relationships. LoL well lady I would like too see what you look like.


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  • That will clear up allot of things in regards to your expirience. Ugh neither do I. I tried online dating but… so frustrating. Fortunately the guys I spoke to on there at least agreed on that part. However, I never get it why Dutch girls are always praised in such articles. Of course there are stunning girls here as well but they are a really small percentage.

    Marianne, I met a guy through a friend on FB. We are now communicating through WhatsApp. I am so confused.

    Amsterdate, Amsterdamn! Dating in the Netherlands is not a piece of Stroopwafel!

    I am an American, he is from Amsterdam, but living in the US for the past 7 years. I could use some wisdom from a Dutch woman. If you would be so kind to contact me.


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    • That way you can talk more freely. He claims he is on an oil rig right now. I wonder how many women he is doing this two. He also told me he loves me. More a person thing.

      Flirting and compliments

      I told him NO. He said all the right things. Said his wife died in an auto accident 7 years ago. I would ask him general things about his life. He would say I am asking too many questions and he has a headache and would never answer.

      How NOT to Date - AMSTERDAM

      Get to know your neighbors, and meet some of their friends at the corner brown cafe. This stuff has been working for years and it still works today. There are plenty of interracial couples in Amsterdam; I can think of two involving a Dutch girl and an Indian guy in my own not-so-huge circle of acquaintances. How about going out and meeting some people in instead of swiping stuff on a phone? Kids these days and what counts as "dating". One third of relationships these days are formed online. It is an easy and safe way to meet new people, it is easier for some people to be themselves when they're behind a screen.

      It was mostly a lighthearted jab, but I'm partially serious. The OP is making it sound as if his dating prospects are doomed because Tinder doesn't work out for him. Go and meet some like-minded people on Meetup.

      Dating in the Netherlands…

      Just don't be the creepy guy who obviously treats every non-romantic social event as an obvious dating opportunity. But you'll meet plenty of single people, and might hook up with one of them. Speaking as a non-Dutch, non-Indian person who has tried Tinder and tried dating in the Netherlands, I'll say two things, one potentially controversial and one not-co-controversial. Also I'll assume you're a man, which is also a bit controversial, but I'll stand by it. Yes, subtle, subconscious racism is a factor.

      It's a sad reality that many European women simply find Asian or Indian men less attractive. There's no escaping that, and I'm sorry. But that isn't why you're having trouble on Tinder. Tinder is where people go in the hopes that they find a supermodel. Most people go there for validation in the form of being found attractive by other other attractive people.

      It's the wrong context for any people who aren't incredibly hot. As a foreigner and as a non-European you have a bit of extra work ahead of you to succeed in dating women in Amsterdam. It's not impossible, just marginally harder than for some other people.

      10 tips for dating Dutch women and Dutch men - Expat Guide to The Netherlands | Expatica

      You'll succeed in meeting cool women, and you'll be happy you did it. But why set yourself back with the emotional destruction that comes from Tinder? The best thing you can do for yourself is to delete the app and find other outlets for meeting people, specifically outlets where personality matters. I don't think that finding people of other race less attractive is racism.

      You can be open-minded but preferences for attractiveness are formed by deeper factors. I guess that is what you meant by subconscious racism, I agree with subconscious part but not with racism. I wouldn't call it racism I don't like girls with protruding ears, so I would swipe them away if I was on Tinder. It's not that I'm discriminating them, it's just that I don't like the look and looks is what Tinder is all about. It stands to reason that skin color is also something that people prefer when it comes to looks.

      Have someone you trust preferably a girl pick a picture for you to put on Tinder.